”I read once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you.”

You know who he is, right?  Surely you've seen him on television.  He's got a part in the new (bad) movie "Love Guru" with Mike Meyers that is playing now. 

He was a cast member of VH1's Surreal Life.  He was MORE than memorable if you've ever seen even one episode of that season.  If you haven't, I'll just say that one of his many spots on camera had him naked and drunk out of his mind on his little electric scooter pissing in the corner of the weight room.  As a matter of fact, here it is....

I know little people need love too.  Seriously I have nothing against it.  I probably wouldn't be even writing about this if I thought Verne Troyer was a nice guy working in Hollywood breaking down walls and busting out tired old stereotypes.  But, in my opinion, he's NOT a very nice man.  He's nasty and at times "uppity" and...and...kind of dirty!  Like in the "take a shower" kind of way.  It seems every time I see him on television, no matter the situation or event, he's rude to his fans and to anyone attempting to interview him.  He's a "Prop".  Not an "Actor".  

You know?  The more I look at him, the more I realize that he looks JUST like Looney Tunes' "Baby Face Finster". 

Go ahead and laugh...you know I'm right!

His partner on the tape is 22 year old Ranae Shrider who is an aspiring actress from Kentucky and now ex-girlfriend.  No comment from her yet but I have to say that I feel worse for her.  She's got to live with:

A. a sex tape floating around for the world to see. 

And B.  starring her and VERNE TROYER. 

This morning Verne filed a lawsuit against TMZ who has been running a preview (brief but enough time that my eyeballs felt scorched) of this tape.  Mr. Troyer is claiming the tape was stolen and somehow ended up in the hands of the same slimy dude who mass produced and sold "One Night in Paris", the Paris Hilton tape of a few years ago.

Would you want to watch something like this?  Are you even a teeny bit curious to see if the rod Mini Me is packing is as impressive as he claimed over and over on the Surreal Life?  (Reality at it's best people, I swear!)

Well because I'm such a good friend, I've included the bit of tape that's been released.  This is safe for work...it's only a few seconds long.  Notice the tongue....doesn't it look like a slug? 

Please, no need to thank me for 21 seconds of your life you'll never get back.  Just sharing the love!!