I'm going to tell you a story about someone I only met once.
Victoria Koerner lived here in Martinsburg. Alone. She was 41 years old. She was eccentric and a bit "off" and was on disability for severe bi-polar disorder which she controlled with prescriptions while under a doctor's care. She was loud and sometimes came across as a bit obnoxious, but that was just her way. Being loud doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you're loud.
Victoria wasn't one of those people on disability who worked the system. She gave back as much as she took plus more. She volunteered for every single animal organization she could fit into her life. She was a champion for endangered animals and ones affected by global warming and had a special place in her heart for polar bears. She was genuinely worried that they would be extinct before the next generation had inherited the planet and although her resources were limited, she did what she could to raise awareness.
She also volunteered at CCAP Loaves & Fishes which is where I met her. Loaves & Fishes provides food for those who are in need. It's not a soup kitchen, but instead provide a "box" of different kinds of food with the amount depending on how many family members you have. Most of the people we provide food for are well below the government standard for poverty. Thanks to donations, as well as to our government for food they provide us with, we are able to give a large box of food to families who live here in Berkeley County. It's heartbreaking and very humbling but extremely fulfilling and I enjoy it very much. Victoria also worked there and I met her just last week. She was working the front desk that day, and I was in the back putting the boxes of food together for the families as they came in. I was impressed by her ability to put the people who were coming in at ease. For most of them, it's extremely embarrassing to have to come in because they are starving for food. One of the things we try to do is make them feel comfortable and not so much like they are getting a hand-out. We aren't there to make them feel like crap. We know that they already feel like crap. We want them to feel HUMAN and not so ashamed.
Everyone is human, right?
Victoria was also a poet. A pretty good one from what I've been hearing. Unfortunately, I'll never be able to hear her give a reading. She gave her last reading on Wednesday evening.
Martinsburg just opened up a "European tea house" here in town. It's very popular and has been doing poetry readings on Wednesday nights for the local aspiring poets in the area. Victoria gathered up her courage and walked to the front of the tea house to the mic to read her latest effort. As I said earlier, Victoria was a loud woman and apparently too loud for the crowd's liking. As she read, her voice booming as it usually was, the audience began to make fun of her. They heckled her so badly, she wound up leaving the tea house in tears.
She then went home and after a few hours, committed suicide.
Victoria had few family here in the area. She also counted the many people she interacted with at all the volunteer organizations she was a part of as family as well. Her mother lives in Florida and she has several loving sisters who cared about her deeply. That makes this story even more sad because surely she had to know that a loving, kind word was only a phone call away. But sometimes the pain we have inside is only for ourselves. We also shared something else that I never even got to talk to her about. She loved cats and you all know that I love them as well.
While she bears some responsibility for taking her own life, I'm extremely sad that she felt so upset and lonely after what happened that she killed herself. I'm VERY angry at the audience who bullied her into feeling this way. Their few minutes of self-stroking and ego building at the expense of another ended with a heart wrenching tragedy that they probably aren't even aware of.
It takes a great deal of cajones to get up in front of people and read an original piece of writing all by itself. While criticism should be expected, heckling or bullying shouldn't be. THINK before you speak. You have no idea how MUCH your words can hurt someone else. To them I ask, is it worth it to tear someone down for a few minutes of laughter amongst your friends when it can lead to this? Was your self-esteem so low that you had to make yourself feel better by heckling a stranger? A stranger, I might add, who had more courage than you ever could just by becoming a participant and not just a spectator like yourselves.
There is literally one line in today's obituaries about Victoria. It says:
Victoria Koerner, 41, died Thursday. Memorial service 3:30 p.m. Wednesday at Brown Funeral Home.
One single, solitary line for someone who spent a lifetime of giving to the community. So I dedicate this blog to Victoria Koerner. Thank you, Vicky. You were wonderful.
